If you have a hard time accomplishing your goals, changing your vocabulary may be the first step toward success.
This is particularly true when you’re trying to lose weight, eat healthier foods or work out at the gym, according to a series of experiments published in the Journal of Consumer Research.
Too often, despite the best intentions, we lack motivation and commitment to pursue our goals. We become tired of depriving ourselves of what we want right now (e.g., to watch TV or eat a chocolate bar) for the distant hope of getting what we want later (e.g., improved health, a thinner body). So we give up.
We don’t have to, though. Researchers discovered that the way we talk to ourselves – specifically how we use the words “don’t,” “can’t” and “no” – has a huge influence over our ability to achieve personal goals.
“Don’t” is more powerful than “can’t” and “Just say no.”
In one study, 30 women set individual goals to improve their health. Researchers divided the women into three groups of 10 and instructed them, should they have difficulty with their goals, to use a variation of the “don’t,” “can’t” or “no” strategies. (For example, “I don’t eat fast food because this is who I am,” “I can’t eat fast food while I’m on this diet” or “I’ll just say no.”)
At the end of the study, eight women in the “don’t” group continued working on their goals. Only three in the “just say no” group and one in the “can’t” group persisted with theirs.
In another study, 120 college students were offered either a granola or chocolate bar after being instructed in a strategy for healthy eating. At the end of this experiment, 64 percent of the “don’t” group but just 39 percent of the “can’t” group made the healthier choice.
The researchers concluded that “can’t” implies lack of choice as well as temporary changes in behavior.
“Don’t,” however, signifies strength, willpower and permanency of our decisions. “Don’t” helps us resist temptation and achieve our goals.
The bottom line is this:
Words matter, and the words we speak to ourselves matter the most. Making small changes in our vocabulary can result in huge changes in our lives.
As your therapist, I can help you take control of your decisions, maintain commitment to your goals, and enjoy greater success in creating the life you want and deserve.
Give me a call at 720.837.3466 or fill out the contact form on this page, and let’s get started.
Don’t wait another day. It’s your turn now. It’s time to heal.
