Anger Management
Anger is good.
Wait… what?
Yes. There’s nothing wrong with anger. Anger is a feeling. Anger is energy. Anger is information.
Think of it like a red warning light on your dashboard. Anger lets you know something’s wrong so you can take action to fix it. You wouldn’t want a car with no warning lights, would you?
The trick is to pay attention to those warnings while there’s time to do something about them. Otherwise, all you have is hope that today is not the day when your engine explodes, your windshield pops out or you careen over a cliff going 90 miles an hour.
The lie about anger:
Without exception, every one of the clients I’ve worked with has several excellent reasons to be mad. I’m sure you do, too.
Truly, we would be so much more calm and relaxed if only:
- Our parents had done a better job.
- There weren’t so many stupid people in the world.
- Everyone would just do what they’re supposed to do.
- The people who hurt us would apologize.
- We could escape from everything and everyone for even just a day… or a week… or a year.
Are these warning signs familiar?
When you pay attention to what anger is doing inside you, you may notice its gradual progression.
First, things you easily shrugged off before start becoming mildly annoying. Spilled coffee, the phone ringing. No big deal. A few choice swear words and you’re good to go.
Then those mild annoyances get downright irritating. The neighbor’s dog barks. Again. It pierces your brain. You start to resent not just the dog but also your neighbor.
Irritations multiply and grow to the point where just about everything, it seems, pisses you off. The weather. The traffic. TV commercials. The price of oranges at the grocery.
Your stomach churns and your head throbs much of the time, but you try to keep your mouth shut. Your spouse doesn’t appreciate you, and your kids are brats. Better to work late and avoid conflict at home.
On a scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being “chill” and 10 being “murderous rage,” you wake up in the morning at a 5 or 6. Throughout the day, you hover at a 7 or 8. A slow cashier, your kid’s sarcastic comment or a potato chip on the floor sends you over the top.
When you go to bed at night, your mind reviews every detail of what people did during the day to make your life more miserable.
You’re increasingly willing to share your thoughts about how others are doing things wrong. They don’t appreciate your attempts to enlighten them. They’re idiots.
You look in the mirror and hate what you see. The anger has become a part of you now. You simply can’t let it go. But you want to.
I can help.
Hopefully, you recognize yourself only in the first stages. But even if you’ve experienced them all, there’s still hope if you want to change.
Remember this:
Managing anger does not mean eliminating it.
As your therapist, I will never tell you to “Just get over it.” I’ll never say you don’t have a right to be angry.
Instead, I’ll help you figure out what’s beneath your anger; identify ways to recognize it before it explodes; learn new ways to cope; and find healthy, productive ways to communicate your anger.
I’ll help you improve your relationships – starting with the relationship with yourself.
I’ll help you find peace.
Let’s get started.
For a free 20-minute phone consultation, call me at 720.837.3466, fill out the contact form below or e-mail me.
Don’t wait another day. It’s your turn now. It’s time to heal.