Treatment for Childhood Trauma

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

I laughed the first time I heard this expression, but the implication that mothers are responsible for most of our issues as adults is unfair and certainly not true.

Yes, there are plenty of less-than-perfect mothers (and fathers!) out in the world, but many other things can traumatize us as children.

Sometimes, the damage inflicted on children is intentional. A parent, family member, coach, teacher or peer physically or emotionally abuses us.

Sometimes, the injury is a result of chance. A family member is mentally ill, incarcerated, or addicted to alcohol or drugs. Our parents divorce or are so overwhelmed with life’s responsibilities that they neglect us. We live in a violent neighborhood. We’re hospitalized with a serious illness.

And sometimes we ourselves make choices as children or adolescents that result in a lifetime of regret and shame.

Untreated, it gets worse.

Multiple studies demonstrate that children who experience three or four of these traumas develop into adolescents with more serious learning disabilities and behavioral problems than children with fewer or no traumas.

As adults, they are far more likely to suffer from obesity, depression, chronic illness, migraine headaches, joblessness and early death.

You don’t have to be a victim of your past.

Our past definitely shapes us, but it doesn’t define who we are – and it doesn’t determine who we’ll become.

We are not what happened to us.

We can learn to make new choices. We can heal. We can live the life we want.

But the truth doesn’t always set us free.

Because trauma is stored in the brain differently than “normal” memories, traditional talk therapy often fails to fully resolve the issue.

Many of my clients have thought and talked about their experiences for years – even decades – before coming to see me. They’re well acquainted with the concept of “That was then; this is now.” It doesn’t help.

Meet Scott.

Scott, for example, is a very buff guy who can defend himself in a physical fight (if necessary) against pretty much anyone. This includes his father, who beat him repeatedly when Scott was a kid. Scott knows with 100 percent certainty that he’s safe, that his father can’t hurt him ever again. He’s an adult now, after all, and his father’s an old man.

Still, when Scott met his new boss at work, his heart pounded and his face felt instantly sunburned. The boss looked exactly like his father. Scott’s entire body tingled as if it were contracting. He felt 10 years old again: small, defenseless and in the presence of a monster.

In the following weeks, Scott tried to avoid contact with his boss. Just thinking of being in the same room caused stomach cramps and headaches. His sleep was restless. He felt tired in the morning. He dreaded the drive to work. He became increasingly moody with his wife, kids and co-workers.

A relentless debate raged within him. His mind kept repeating, “This is not my father,” and he believed that completely.

But his body kept insisting, “Yes. It is.” He believed that completely, too.

Scott felt pathetic, stupid and crazy. The only option, he decided, was to quit his job. And he almost did.

The solution to childhood trauma is EMDR therapy.

EMDR therapy works by creating new pathways in the brain that link what we know intellectually (e.g., in Scott’s case, that he was completely safe and that his boss was not his father) to what we know emotionally and physically (e.g., that Scott was in grave danger and needed to defend himself or run away).

When these new links are created, the memory remains but the emotional attachment to it evaporates.

Instead of quitting his job, Scott came to me for EMDR therapy.

In just a few months, Scott was able to fully process his childhood trauma. He stopped blaming himself for his father’s abuse. He let go of the anger and resentment he had held onto for years. He gained greater confidence in himself.

And Scott developed a friendly, positive relationship with his boss.

Ready to heal your childhood trauma?

If you’d like more information about how EMDR might help you, give me a call at 720.837.3466 for a free 20-minute phone consultation; fill out the contact form at the bottom of this page; or access my online calendar.

Don’t wait another day. It’s your turn now. It’s time to heal.