Couples Therapy

Does your partner feel like your enemy?

I’ve got some really good news for you, but keep reading because at first it’s going to sound like really bad news. Here it is:

Research shows that 69 percent of ongoing relationship conflicts will never be resolved.

Yes, you read correctly. And yes, this is good news. (And no, I’m not crazy.)

It’s good news because it means you’re not a failure when you can’t resolve an issue with your partner. You’re not stupid. You’re not doomed. You’re not destined for divorce court.

Know this: Even in happy relationships, most conflicts are never resolved.

In other words…

Now is not the time to give up.

However…, and this is a very big HOWEVER…

You also don’t want to keep doing all the same things you’ve been doing up until now. After all, some of these things are what brought you to this page.

What most people want in their relationship:

Most couples I work with want to make major changes in their lives. Today.

They want to be in love again, to feel passion. They’re tired of being roommates.

They wonder what it would be like to laugh and have fun again, to look forward to coming home. It’s been too long since they felt that way.

They crave a deeper connection: to be loved, respected and appreciated; to support each other’s dreams; to heal from past betrayals.

If only they could understand each other better and talk about a problem without yelling, maybe they could stop feeling trapped and resentful.

I can help you with all of these things.

I utilize the Gottman Method, an approach to couples counseling developed by John and Julie Gottman based on 40 years of research with thousands of couples.

Through their research, the Gottmans were able to predict with 94 percent accuracy whether a couple would divorce after watching them engage in a conflict for only three minutes.

They identified specific behaviors that destroy a relationship.

More importantly, they also identified what makes a relationship loving, strong and lasting.

They developed detailed instructions for strengthening relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management and creation of shared meaning.

Together, we can work on creating the relationship you crave.

The bottom line is there are specific things you can start doing – and specific things you can stop doing – right now to transform your relationship.

I can teach you those things.

No, I still won’t be able to resolve the 69 percent of your issues that can never be resolved due to personality and gender differences, but I’ll help you learn to talk about these issues and develop compromises that you both can live with.

I’ll also help you find solutions to the other 31 percent of your issues that can be resolved.

The next step is up to you.

I’ll leave you with one last statistic. The Gottmans found that the average couple waits six years before seeking help for their marital problems.

I encourage you to not be average. My guess is you’ve already waited long enough.

For a free 20-minute phone consultation, call me at 720.837.3466, fill out the contact form below or e-mail me.

Don’t wait another day. It’s your turn now. It’s time to heal.