I wish we had another word for depression because many men refuse to believe they have it – even though about 12 percent of them do.
In general, women know when they feel sad, hopeless and pessimistic. They may cry, find it hard to get out of bed, isolate themselves from friends, have problems making decisions and lose interest in activities they used to find enjoyable. These all are signs of depression.
Though they experience the same signs, men are far more likely than women to dismiss, minimize or not be aware of the emotional reasons why.
Rather than talk about how they feel, men will discuss worries and complaints about their marriage, kids, job, money, politics and sports teams.
Men will claim they’re not depressed.
They’re not even sad. They’re just physically tired and stressed out. They’ve lost interest in sex. They prefer to stay home rather than go out. They can’t sleep. They can’t concentrate. They have headaches. They drink too much. They feel trapped.
Oh, and they’re pissed off all the time.
That’s because anger and aggressiveness allow men to maintain a sense of being strong, capable and in control. (“I don’t need help. There’s nothing wrong with me that I can’t fix myself.”) To men, being a jerk is much better than being weak and powerless.
Women can be angry, too, but they’re more likely to feel guilty about the past. They also tend to eat more and gain more weight.
For both men and women, effective treatment for depression includes therapy.
Medication is sometimes – but not always – part of the solution. Self-help groups, especially for drug or alcohol addictions, can reduce feelings of isolation and hopelessness.
One of my teachers in graduate school said it best: Pain is part of being human. Suffering is optional.
The bottom line is this:
Guys, if you’re angry, anxious, irritable, tired or in physical pain, you might just be … well, depressed.
Women, if you’re depressed you probably already know it. Help is available.
As your therapist, I can help both men and women recover from depression. Together, we can process possible causes of depression such as a serious loss, relationship problems or financial difficulties.
I also can help you heal traumatic events in your past; learn new ways to cope with sadness, anxiety and anger; and explore new options for the future. You deserve to be happy. It’s time to let go of unnecessary suffering.
Give me a call at 720.837.3466 or fill out the contact form on this page, and let’s get started.
Don’t wait another day. It’s your turn now. It’s time to heal.
One final note:
Clearly the most serious outcome of depression is suicide. If you’re feeling suicidal, dial 911, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1.800.273.8255 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
